Workin’ 9 to…noon?

Went to see the San Francisco Giants play the Chicago Cubs yesterday. The game had a Monday, 12:45 PM start. Strange time, strange atmosphere, and strange that the stadium was nearly full. This begs the question, does anyone actually work?

I went to play golf today, Tuesday, and yes, it was full. Am I alone in my efforts to sneak away from the boredom of corporate America? No, I can’t imagine that’s it. It appears that all over America, every day, there are millions of people acting out their aversion to a normal work day.

Let’s do the math: there are 30 teams in Major League Baseball. All of them play 162 games in their season, from April to September. The average stadium holds about 45,000 people, so if you do the math and count the unemployment stats, well…

There are 25,000 golf courses in America, and each hosts an average of 65,000 rounds of the game per year. Again, do the math. Why is America in the state we she’s in? Everyone is watching baseball or playing golf! Well, that’s not actually true; if you look at the beaches in California or Florida, they’re full, too. Then there are all the tourist resorts, magical islands, mountain escapes, and so on. All full. Why is the economy in the tank? No explanation needed. We have become Hooky Nation.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg. We have become a nation of people with a pathological aversion to a nine-to-five, Monday-Friday work week. Is there anything wrong with that? For an answer, just look at China. Look at Germany. Look at all the other countries making fools of us in the area of economic growth. America is lagging behind, and I blame the New York Yankees.

Then again, it’s just fun to blame the Yankees for everything.

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