Faceless On Facebook

Yes, I know, you all have a Facebook account! Me too, only on my account, I hardly ever log on and very rarely send out messages or make status updates. My lovely darling sister, the youngest of the 2 sisters I have, is a Facebook and social media maniac. She has rhythmic fingertips that beat to the tune of gossip. She updates every shit she takes and every morsel of food she eats, sometimes twice daily! And that’s not just the shit! She loves to let the whole world know where she is, what she is doing and how many times a day she receives proposals from strange men on the London Underground. She is hooked. I, on the other hand, find it a complete invasion of my privacy, and I am still discussing my sisters account, not mine! Whenever she posts on Facebook and I happen to be in her home, or in a photograph she is discussing, I get ‘tagged’ What the heck is that all about? I went to my nephew’s wedding, this is my sisters son, and of course, there were many pictures, some official, some not, taken during the course fo this 6 hour event. Low and behold, within 24 hours, I am all over the damn internet, and I’m receiving emails from long lost relatives and some friends too, although if they are long lost, they should remain that way, in my opinion of course, asking me how the wedding was? Do I really want all these people to know I was in London at a wedding? Do I have a choice? It seems not, and it’s only getting worse. I have a distinct aversion to being followed anywhere and everywhere I go, hence my lack of Facebook posting updates. If I wanted a bodyguard, someone who follows me everywhere, I would have hired a big muscle man with a gun, not a sister with sticky fingers who types at the speed of light and gives away all my current geographical positioning coordinates! Another thing I have grown to dislike, is the ability to find friends who have been MIA for 35 years. Suddenly, out of the blue, I will log in and that wee red light above one of the icons will be illuminated. Message!!! Excitement builds, oh yes, here it comes, it’s Joe Shmo from Glasgow or London, who I’ve not seen or heard from since I was 15 and low and behold, here he or she is, right there in black and white and often full color, asking me all these daft questions. “How’ve you been doing since we last saw one another?” How stupid is that? I mean, come on, it’s been 35 flipping years, do you want me to write a book for you? Then, after providing them with a quick update, in about three lines of course, they just bugger off into the ether, and you never hear from them again, well, at least not for another 35 years until another brainy Scotsman invents something better than the internet, and you get the same message, perhaps this time in 3D!! And yes, the Scots invented almost everything. I will one day, in the not too distant future, provide you all with a list. You’ll be amazed at how clever all us Jocks really are! So, back to Facebook, and the pictures everyone, except me, wants to look at. Always, and I mean always, the images that pass by me are amazingly sad. I look at these people from my past and think, “do I look as bad as you do?” and I am concerned that I really do!! No, Facebook is not for me, although I did buy their shares, yes, a mistake, but one never knows, and one can only live in hope, (just look at Google), but I have no incline to use Facebook on an hourly basis, or even a daily basis, and those who do, and there are nearly a billion of them, they must have nothing better to do than tell the world that they are having dinner, seeing a movie, playing golf or just plain sitting aorund trying to communicate with an invisible audience who don’t really give a hoot! Rant over!! I now desire to remain faceless and sans Facebook!

7 thoughts on “Faceless On Facebook

    • Ah ha! You are not as dumb as you look! Great reply and the first one who actually noticed! You get today’s prize, which is, a new Mini Cooper!! Well done BGSLONE!

      • ………..the best thing to do when your in the loo is to FB ……. Beats the days of the news paper and the boring cover to cover world depression of killings and stabbings until you reach the all important sports page ….. This way you can work your way around the world on FB whilst composing that all important status……. Though nothing tickles me more when someone posts a status for eg they got burgled their dog died and they lost their job all in the same day…… And someone ticks LIKE….. How does that work ??????? …………. Mini cooper??????? I will “book face to face ” …………

  1. Guess what … I am NOT on TwitterFace, BookTube, OR YouSpace!! I know I’m in a minority here but I don’t lose any sleep over it, believe me.

    I can’t help wondering though what would happen if there was a Facebook ‘Crash’ … like Wall Street!! Heavens, folk would be jumping off buildings and there sure as hell would be another ‘great depression’ as doctors filled out thousands of prescriptions for drugs to help people cope with the loss.

    I also wondered if my old friends would now respond to the email I sent them years ago, when I said: “Please don’t ask me to join Facebook, just email me instead, thanks.”

    That’s the thing about Facebookers. Id you don’t join their little club they’re basically saying “stuff you then, you won’t hear from me again.” I suppose it’s because they don’t have time to hit another couple of eys and “send” to an email address. Or maybe they just don’t care that much about you.

    Fortunately, I still have my real friends to email and vice versa and they can send me pictures just the same, but on a much more personal level. plus I don’t feel obliged to have to tick boxes to let them know that I liked what they said!

  2. That’s lucky miss clootie D as I wouldn’t be ticking ant of your boxes as I don’t like anything you say ! Fb twitter you tube All ways of modern day communication … Email I believe is how you excpect communication you say ? E as in ELECTRONIC mail… No different than any of the above a ways to communicate in the twenty first century if you really believed in what you wrote above you would ask your so called friends who you refer to to put pen to paper or quill to scroll……… Instead you turn on your lap top, log into a blogg and type your thoughts are you really any different ?………..

    • Quill and ink sounds like a great idea, but unfortunately here in the UK we have to pay extortionate prices for a mere stamp these days. Think Penny Black and you’d be about right.

      And anyway, if I wrote a letter to you, for example, would you respond in kind? Somehow I doubt it. The same as others I imagine.

      I know we’ve moved on from Jane Eyre but to be honest I also hate abbreviating words which, incidentally, made me wonder if your name is actually Bugsy Malone in abbreviated form, commonly used in Texting, Twitter and the likes. Like I said, just wondered.

      Anyway, thanks for your response and in answer to your question … Yes, I definitely am different. However, I should point out that my comments on this site, which I was led to by a friend, is a one-off. I write in to the papers sometimes but that is all.

      Mind you, that’s not to say that this particular thread could go on for some time yet, perhaps even years. But, I’d be interested to know if you’re up for a “quill” session. We could start a new trend!

      I’m sure I’ve still got a bottle of Parker Quink in the loft. Just need to find a porcupine and I’ll be ready to rock ‘n roll. Just say the word … as long as it’s not “Facebook”.

Got an opinion? Let's hear it!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.