All Twits and No Tweets

imagesIt used to be I could turn on my TV, watch a show in full color with no interruption and really enjoy it. What’s happened over the past year or more is, to say the least frustrating, and extremely off-putting, unless you happen to love being bombarded with banners, some live, and some inserts, on a screen that was made for pictures, not hash tags, or worse. I cannot stand these interruptions, whilst watching a show that’s entertaining, by the endless stream of tweets, previews for up coming shows and that oh so annoying station ID tag that always appears in the bottom or top right hand corner of my screen. It’s become totally unbearable! I sit there, screaming at my TV set, telling it to STOP! I really don’t care what @silkysue thinks of that last singer on American Idol or indeed what any of the other millions of Twitter addicts are feeling while I try to engross myself in some kind of relaxation process before turning out the light and going to sleep. After all, I have been at work all day in front of my computer screen, so why would I be in any way shape or form, interested in what anyone else has to say, think, or believe, in the program that I am currently watching? If you have an opinion, keep it to yourself or the rest of your family and close friends, because honestly, I do not give a rats ass on what you think or what you want to say! We are encouraging a nation of wannabe trashy journalists, who have no reasonable or sensible impute into my day, other than these 140 characters they feel will change their whole world and give them all their 15 minutes of fame. Well, it won’t.

Who invented this social media storm that now surrounds us all on a daily basis? Why does everyone feel so compelled to share every single thought that they have in their lives, with the rest of the planet? What happened to privacy and the solace it brought? Where is all this going and why do I, and for that matter, the rest of you, need to be part of it?

All of these questions, I believe, are reasonable, and should be discussed in an open forum, but until we get to that stage, please, Mr. TV producer, get these banners, these tweets and these symbols, off my TV screen and let me watch my show in peace.

I see now, especially on Bravo, Discovery and certain other channels, that they will offer you two versions of the shows that you intend to watch, with one being the social medial edition, the other, the NORMAL show. What is that all about? How can any person with any semblance of sanity, watch their show and catch every word of every tweet and every Facebook entry that is buzzed endlessly onto a screen filled with not only live entertainment, but also little bubbles and birdies, floating endlessly into the atmosphere? Not only that, when the commercials arrive, you are asked to go to some .com address to find out what happens or to add your own ending! How much can one human being do or indeed take in ten seconds, while simultaneously hoping to retain their own sanity? At the end of the day, interaction is good, to a certain extent, but now, with this over the top and endless barrage of incredibly uninspiring and farcical media garbage we are all subjected too, we have gone too far and we have taken participation to a level that can often be ridiculed due to its lack of integrity and common sense. Take last night for example, after the Super Bowl. 5 experts were sitting behind a desk, analyzing every single play from a momentous titanic and often entertaining football game, and there, right there, at the bottom of my screen, a band of endless tweets, paraded like ducks in an arcade shooting game, moving slowly, though deliberately, and also infinitely, with opinions bordering from the ridiculous to the insensitive, all in the name of what?? And how am I, yes, little old me, supposed to listen to these experts, and at the same time, catch every syllable, every derogatory comment, each tweeter is trying to make? Do the tweeters themselves sit at home just waiting for their names to appear for a brief 3 seconds, in the hope that they can then tweet again to say they were just mentioned on NBC?

We have all been swept into a slipstream of participation, brought on solely by a need to be wanted, heard and to be trendy. How many people do you follow on Twitter? What the heck is a tweet anyway, and why would I, Alan Zoltie, every want to know what you, Alec Baldwin, Lolo Jones, or even the Pope, are doing with your time during this particular day? I have enough to worry about in my own life without caring what every celebrity on the planet is tweeting about. So, when all’s said and done, take these Tweets, take these moving banners, and get then out of my life and off my TV screen so I can enjoy, in peace, the few TV shows I actually watch!

Yours truly #epic (I await your tweets?)

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