This Story Made Me Piss Myself!

Shenzhen public urinal users face fine for poor aim

Two men use the urinals inside the re-fitted public toilet in London's Oxford Circus, Friday 20 May, 2005. Chinese media called into question the need for a law on the issue

Officials in Shenzhen, China, will fine public toilet users 100 yuan (£10;$16) if they are deemed to have failed to urinate accurately in city facilities.

New laws that come into force next month in the southern city do not specify what amount of spilled urine would be classed as a violation.

The move has provoked derision and debate in local newspapers and on China’s version of Twitter, Weibo.

Critics suggested toilet inspectors would be needed to enforce the rules.

The regulations were designed to curb the “uncouth use of a public toilet”, a city government official told the AFP news agency.

The Beijing Times carried a commentary calling into question the necessity of making a law on something that could “be simply guided by social consensus”.

We aim to please, would you aim too please? The story above, picked up on the BBC today, grabbed my attention. If you’ve never been to China, you’re the lucky one! 35 years ago when I started going there, urinals were a nuisance. People just pissed or shit in the streets. No word of a lie. I recall sitting in a car watching this woman shower in a gutter in the center of Shanghai right in the middle of a torrential downpour and as she finished, she got up and took a shit while being ogled by every man and his dog, sitting this massive traffic jam caused by that same monsoon. I also noticed on many occasions that mothers teach their babies to shit by dressing them in pants which boast a split across their rear, enabling them to squat anywhere anytime in case of emergency or otherwise, but helping them to become confident and regular without any of the diaper BS we put our own kids through. More often than not, those particular children just wandered to the side of the road, and, like a dog, did their business before rejoining their mothers who in turn never bother to clean up their child’s mess. I’ve also been in many factories over the years, where urinals are just a hole in the ground or a stream of water flushing continually through a makeshift open latrine, excrement flowing freely underneath your nose as you try hard to relax and piss on top of the next guy’s hot steamy shit. Whoosh! it flies past at the speed of last night’s curry, while you stand, penis aloft trying not to look, holding your breath (which is about to read ‘vomit now’ on the Richter scale), from the smell of human waste that seems to then stick inside your nostrils for weeks on end.
And so, to read the above article today, after non stop laughter for about 30 minutes, I had to blog this and tell you all that the Chinese as a nation really don’t give a flying fuck if they hit the right spot or not when they go to pee. The get in, get out, and get on with their lives without a care in the world. If they dropped a little on the floor, sometimes a lot, or whether they reek of anything other than cigarettes and piss for the rest of that particular day, they just don’t care.  On top of their continual spitting in the streets, or sidewalks, or their irreverence when it comes to disposing of litter in any kind of manner that would suggest common sense, this effort by the local authorities to clean up Shenzhen, a place I visit at least 4 times every year, will, in my opinion, fall not only on deaf ears, but on erratically held penises. (Yes that is the plural, I googled it!)
God bless China and all who piss on her. You deserve one another. I like the idea that they are trying to clean up what is undoubtably the world’s largest shit hole, but trust me, no one who lives their, other than western idealists, who are by far in the majority, gives a flying fuck what anyone does when they piss or shit in Shenzhen. Not even the people who are charged with cleaning up after them. And if they do decide to take aim and fire accurately, then God help the unemployment lines. There would be 5 million toilet cleaners out of work in an instant!Technolo7

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