Erected Official

431brute_herIt’s official.

The House of Parliament in London recorded 300,000 attempts to access porn on the internet last year from within its sacred walls. This isn’t a figure that’s staggering to me, it’s absolutely fucking mind-blowing!! Our, (sorry I am no longer a voting UK citizen), their elected members of parliament, the ‘right honorable’ so and so’s who plead nothing but righteousness and an affinity to the almighty while they stand side by side during election time, are now guilty as sin having been caught red-handed and with no place to hide. What a bunch of slime balls.  I don’t care if they look at porn, in fact it seems to have been part and parcel of being an elected official in the UK since the beginning of time. Just look at Henry VIII et al, for confirmation that power leads directly or indirectly to fornication, or in this case, pornication!

With technology the way it is, and with privacy a thing of the past, why on earth would these MP’s believe that they could get away scott free accessing on-line porn while supposedly serving their constituents, the very people who are paying their salaries!! There are thousands of people who work at Westminster, over 5000 to be precise, and although the figures banded about today cannot pinpoint any one particular culprit, I would suggest that one or two MP’s must be quaking in their boots in the hope that they will never be ‘found out.’ UK parliament is one of the oldest though not always wisest, bastions of government on the planet, dating back over 500 years and the language used inside and out of the main chamber of debate, The House Of Commons, is to say the least, rather different to that used any other place on earth. I can only imagine the conversations taking place behind very closed doors after this expose.

“Would the right honorable gentleman for Peckam North either confirm or deny he has a subscription to Love Island Mamma’s. OR would he prefer we call out to this house, his continued badgering of that well-known web cam he seems to frequent all too often I might add, Amber’s Seedy Hothouse, whilst ungluing the pages on his lap top with a wet sponge! ” Uproar, pandemonium and disbelief, would be the order of the day. Parliament would be in a state of shock, the Speaker would have a heart attack and the Queen would be called upon to dissolve and then dismiss all 650 MP’s for the greater good of the Commonwealth.

Yes, porn is easy to access, and it’s here to stay. As one friend of mine always told me, “3 things sell newspapers, Sex, Sports and Diet” This is a scandal and one that might run and run. It’s the tip of a very large iceberg and as I sit here writing this column I wonder how many elected officials outside of Anthony Weiner, in the USA, have their computers infected with remnants of porn surfing exasperation? How much of our tax payers dollars is wasted on porn? Dies anyone care to know? Does anyone really know? I am all for an erection in the afternoon, except when it’s my money that’s paying for someone else’s pleasure. We should not take for granted the effects that porn might have on our elected houses. After all time spent looking at naked women or men for that matter, is time taken away from our desire to right this sinking ship of a nation. If these people in the UK want a quickie, then take an hour or two at night in your own apartments and strum our to a five-finger boogie on your own time. I’m also sure that women are just as guilty as men, indeed I heard last week they brought out a new pill for ladies who desire instant results when surfing porn on-line. It’s called Niagara. Apparently they take two and it keeps them wet for a whole week!

To all those MP’s in Great Britain who feel the need to look at porn, I sincerely hope that none of you are in the defense department, after all, we don’t want any missiles going off prematurely, do we!

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