Oh Poop!

downloadI was intrigued to find out from a friend of mine that she bought her husband a very unusual birthday gif a few months back. It was a DNA test kit that enabled him to take a cheek swab, return it to the source and upon receipt of the results he was able to determine his ancestral lineage from centuries past. I decided that I would like to know more about my own DNA and so I went online and subscribed to the Nat Geo project, on the enclosed link  .https://genographic.nationalgeographic.com/

I’m still waiting anxiously for my results, but the anticipation is killing me. I know the family came from Eastern Europe to Scotland in the late 1800’s but what about before that? This test should prove beyond all doubt exactly where my heritage lies and I’m sure that once I find out, the rest of my living relatives will welcome the opportunity of closure on a subject that has been dear to all of us for many years now.

DNA is the most amazing discovery. I often turn on the TV and watch shows where DNA evidence is crucial either to an ongoing police investigation, a case involving mistaken identity or even shows like Maury, where determination of the birth father is often a mystery to the lady unfortunate enough to have conceived, let alone been unable to hunt down one of perhaps three or four of the culprits who may have inseminated her in the first place, all being charged with being a possible father of that child. Until that wee envelope is opened and the results unveiled, results which are completely accurate, the sweat pouring off each man waiting anxiously to know if he’s actually a dad, is breathtaking!

Last night however, the use of DNA evidence must have been taken to a new level, a first in my book. The city council in Boulder Colorado sat for three hours to determine the following.

Should legislation be implemented where any dog poop left on the streets of Boulder be picked up and tested and then matched to the DNA of dogs who reside in that city? WTF????
First of all, how will they implement a doggie DNA bank? Secondly, even if that can do such a thing and every dog who lives in Boulder has his or her DNA taken and then stored in a computer file, who in their right mind is going to pick up the culprits poop, take it to a lab and actually test it? These tests don’t come cheap, nor is it fiscal for a city that is already feeling the pinch to act in such a ridiculous manner and at the end of the day, wouldn’t it make so much more sense if they just provided free poop bags on all street corners and an increase in the number of garbage cans across the city to make it simple and easy for anyone who has forgotten a poop bag or just can’t normally be bothered to pick up their dog’s poop to do so with as much ease as it would be to throw an empty soda can or coffee cup away??

Do we as a society have nothing better to discuss? How much money did last nights meeting cost the city of Boulder and was anything determined after that meeting was over. What have we become when it’s important to talk about dog DNA instead of job creation, tourist attraction or even helping those who have less than then the average citizen. Boulder CO is, after all, a wealthy town. Filled with Ferrari’s Lamborghini’s and even designer dogs, all set amongst art galleries, fancy shops and the fabulous Rocky Mountain resorts. Why are they so consumed with dog poop? For that answer, I’m afraid you’ll have to call someone who attended last nights great debate. Whatever way you look at it, it’s a shitty deal for all concerned and one that leaves most of those who participated, barking up the wrong tree and pissing all over the hand that feeds them!

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