Got up at 4 AM yesterday and turned on the TV. I was sitting in the lounge of what was one of the largest hotel rooms I’d ever had the pleasure of staying in. Embassy Suites upgraded me to their largest room because I checked in late and that was the only one they had left. How lucky was I? I didn’t complain, I just wished I’d had three more people with me to enjoy the facilities. Portland OR is a regular stop for me on my weekly travels and yesterday, with rain pouring from the heavens as per usual and the hotel’s workout facility locked until 7 AM, TV was my only outlet to pass time before my first meeting at 8. Sitting comfortably, propped up by a mountain of pillows, the image glaring at me from my flat screen TV was astounding. It showed, in black and white I might add, two or three teenagers standing on the edge of what seemed to be a small lake, urinating freely into the water while seeming exceptionally giddy from what probably was the after effects of too much beer. “Is there something wrong with this picture?” I asked myself. And then the news team, made up of the now customary blonde with big tits, and asian man, began to relate how this appeared to be a serious deification of a major reservoir in Portland and that if proved to be the case, the water that we were all about to consume, fresh water, was going to have to be released, the reservoir drained and then re-filled until passed fit for human consumption. Nothing was set in stone. An investigation was underway. CCTV footage was inconclusive, and yet there I lay, glass in hand, ready to drink my fresh, or perhaps not, water, and get on with my day!
It wasn’t the first time something like this had happened to me. Last year, in fact almost exactly to this date, I was in China, Shanghai to be precise, when the newscaster came on and told the whole world that someone had emptied 6000 dead piglets into the largest reservoir of that particular city. Who the hell would do such a thing? Well, the very next day, 25,000 dead baby chickens were disposed of in a similar manner in the very same reservoir! Yes folks, China at it’s best! Bottled water only please!
This morning, the BBC is reporting that the CCTV evidence from Portland proved conclusive and 38 million gallons of fresh water is going to have to be disposed of. 38 million gallons! How stupid is that? I believed, rightly or wrongly that water was put through a purification process, and other than a few dead pigs or chickens floating around on the top of such a gleaming elixir, there wasn’t much they couldn’t take out of the water to make it drinkable. I must have been mistaken with my beliefs. It now seems that a wee bit of pee can contaminate 38 million gallons in an instant! But wait! What if we never had the luxury of CCTV? Who would have even known? No one. No one would have seen this misdemeanor, no one would have had any concerns that their drinking water might contain a minuscule amount of human piss and no one would have thrown away 38 million precious gallons of fresh, almost, water! That water would go a long way to fixing some of the drought issues we have in CA. I fail to understand why they couldn’t just use it to water the fields, which, after all consume 85% of our total water usage every year. I’m sure there are many drought stricken farmers who would have killed for this water, let alone pee’d for it!
Again, America at it’s finest.