There’s A New Sheriff In Town

A friend of mine received a phone call to work last week. They left a message

“This is King County Sheriff’s Dept, please call us back immediately.”

She did.

“Ma’am you never appeared for jury duty, despite being summoned twice by mail. You are in serious trouble with the judge and have a duty to attend a court hearing today”

Despite protestations that no mail and summons’s had ever been received, the Sheriff was insistent that it could all be resolved at the King County courthouse as long as my friend got in the car immediately, made her way to the courthouse, attended a hearing and paid a small fine, and he suggested the judge would expunge all charges with just a slap on the wrist. Again, protesting that she had work and lived in a remote part of King county, the Sheriff stated clearly that her failure to follow his instructions would lead to arrest and subsequent imprisonment. She had no choice.

Dumping all her current projects, leaving her home and making haste for the city, she asked for a phone number to call on the way there, this, after another conversation where she’d been asked to note her odometer reading in her car and asked to stay in regular contact with the Sheriff in order that the hearing with the judge could be arranged as she neared the courthouse to avoid any unnecessary delays.

Suspicious? Nope, she was convinced this was genuine, the phone number checking out and the facts read back to her regarding her personal life, confirmed several times.

I’m sure you’ve all gathered where this is going now, but read on anyway.

She was then asked to go into one of two supermarkets to buy money vouchers with cash. She did this and read off the serial numbers to the Sheriff, his explanation to her was that this was the system the court used for fines and again, although probably not believable when reading my article, it was more than believable to the lady about to be scammed. Doing as she was asked, she bought the vouchers, called the Sheriff’s dept, read out the numbers and drove on. Of course, when she arrived at the courthouse, she discovered she’d been scammed and she’d lost $2000. The people at the courthouse told her there’d been many like her and that the people responsible had been using this scam for many months.

Feeling completely violated, with no recourse, she asked me to write her story in my blog to warn others not to fall for what seemed like a genuine situation and one that was completely believable at the time it was happening. She panicked, being a good upstanding citizen and fearing jail time, she has never been in any trouble with the law in her entire life. She did what seemed right and what she was asked to do and although she’s by no means a gullible individual, she was completely taken in by this scam and has had several sleepless nights since, wondering if there was indeed anything more she could have done to ‘out’ these criminals. Having now given statements to the police and having now been told she’s not alone as far as this particular scam goes, life is returning to normal, but will not be the same for quite sometime due to her inability to accept her fate.

Look out, do not take calls from strange numbers and if asked to appear before anyone official, or asked to pay money to anyone, no matter how genuine they might seem, ask for it to be put in writing first, on official letterhead with clear instructions and a number to call that checks out on line.

Right, I am off to enjoy my holiday weekend. Stay safe and stay out of trouble.

 

Earth Day

Hey, it’s earth day today! Whooopee! But what exactly does that mean? Isn’t every day earth day? if not, then where the fuck are we all living? I’ve been looking at some of the events going on around the planet today. Makes for some interesting reading.

Kim Jong-un has told the world that he can completely destroy it with just three nuclear devices, all of which he’s willing to launch should The Donald not fly to Pyongyang and suck his dick. I would PAY to watch that one, the launch that is!

Over 100 Afghani troops killed by a Taliban attack on an army base near the northern city of Mazar-el-Sharif. What’s the issue there? they didn’t like the fact that the soldier had uniforms and they didn’t? or was it just a ruse to take away their shaving equipment so the “you MUST have a beard’ campaign they’ve been running quite successfully for the last 15 years, gets a well needed boost.

In Lebanon they’ve been on the streets asking that the law be abolished that exonerates any rapist who marries their victim or any other rape victim gets a pardon. In a country where many wives are often accepted, and lots of women are raped daily, they’d have no room left in their prison system for those caught in the act, and what about those poor sheep? Don’t they have a say? Sorry Lebanon, I couldn’t resist that one!

IIle Nastase, once the darling of the center court, and now the Rumanian woman’s tennis captain for today’s Fed Cup match v Great Britain, was banned for calling one of the British players a Fucking Bitch. He also slandered Serena Williams after she announced she was 20 weeks pregnant. Maybe IIle has been playing too much tennis in the Lebanon?

American airlines had a situation with a lady who wanted to bring a buggy for her twin baby’s onto their plane. The flight attendant offered to fight, fisticuffs, an intervening passenger! Maybe he should quite pushing trollies up and down the aisle of his Boeing 737 and concentrate on the MMA career he always wanted.

And what about the March for Science, held in many cities across the world today? Oh, I forgot, science is a waste of time, THE Donald told us, there’s no such thing as global warming or over dependency on fossil fuels, so it must be true and we don’t need scientists any longer.

So really, what’s today all about? The planet is doomed, I think? The people who live on it, probably the majority, don’t give a fuck what’s going on and if they do, well where are they? Why are we falling apart at the seams and why are there so few prepared to stitch her up? I’ll tell you why. The reason is that we all love our technology, our cars, our flights too and from vacation, our business trips, our nuclear bombs, our regular bombs, our guns, our processed food, our destruction of arable land, out incessant beratement of any person who is a do gooder, because most of them are doing no good at all, our continual destruction of plant and animal life, over farming, our total ignorance with regards climate control and global warming and our constant love of war, bringing nothing but death and destruction to a planet that can barely take any more.

Feeling good about earth day now? What’s the point? Why do we even have this day? To bring awareness to any of the above? To stop everything that’s wrong on this earth? No, it’s just another money-maker for those who manufacture the products we sell promoting one day in the year where products should never be sold!

A total waste of time and energy. The only earth day that should be celebrated, again in my opinion, is one where not a single shot is fired in anger, not a bad word spoken, not a tree cut down, not a single animal slaughtered, not an ounce of CO2 is spewed out into our already fragile atmosphere, and where all 300 billion pieces of plastic, a true statistic BTW, are collected from our polluted oceans so the world can maybe breath again. It’ll never happen, but hey, its earth day, so let’s give it a try!

 

A Great Man, An Even Better Friend

My father, Jack, passed away suddenly and quite unexpectedly a few days ago. He was 82, and rarely ill, but an issue the doctors found in his heart, one that they tried to fix 4 weeks ago, was his downfall. There are several factors that make no sense to me from all of the sadness and soul-searching that has followed his demise and so I thought I would write one small chapter in my blog dedicated to his life in the hope that anyone reading who has or has had a parent, child, friend in a similar position, will take not and then take action on the off-chance they might be more successful than I was in saving a loved one from a premature death.

Jack was born in 1934, prematurely I might add, in Edinburgh Scotland. Legend has it that his 3lb frame as placed in the local Jewish bakers oven for days on end to try to save him, incubators not having been invented at that time. That worked and so Jack made it to the ripe, though not terribly old by today’s standards, age of 82. His mother Alice though was less fortunate, dying 3 years later after giving birth to Jack’s sister Sylvia, dying of acute heart failure. She was 29. The warning signs were there, though unfortunately in 1938, no one had the foresight to place two and two together and tell both kids that they should keep an eye out for heart issues in their early lives.

Jack was the first person in the UK to bring plastic shopping bags from Hong Kong introducing them to the grocery stores and restaurant trade . He was a pioneer of sorts, although all you ‘greenies’ out there might disagree at this point. He also became the first person in Scotland to import 8 track in-car entertainment units from Japan. If you’re under 40 you won’t even know what they are, so Google it. Jack had very few health problems in his early life and although extremely fond of his whisky, and a regular smoker until he was well into his 40’s, recurring kidney stones were his biggest problem. Several times he was admitted to hospitals to have them removed, one occasion being in London when I attended visiting time accompanied by my usual sense of humor and after ten minutes of gut wrenching laughter and a few split stitches on his now scarred belly, the nursing team had to physically eject me to save him from certain death. There was blood everywhere and Jack, who was laughing so hard, was only saved from the after world by a quick thinking doctor who proceeded to sew him up again and the sedate him!

Over ten years ago, when I was in my later 30’s, I began to see my doctor annually for a physical. This included full blood work, heart and body check and a finger up my bum, where every time I could I continued to spout that wonderful line, “Hey Doctor, I just lost my virginity!” So I knew each year I was good to go and fit as a fiddle. Education had encouraged me to do this, and I rarely, if ever miss a year, so have been able to stay on top of any ailments that had any chance of making my future life on earth miserable. Jacks father dies of, guess what, heart failure, and his great Grandfather Morris, the same ailment, so you’d have thought that when Jack found out 4 weeks ago that his main artery was 100% blocked, rather than feigning surprise and lack of concern, typical for someone brought up in Scotland in the 1930’s where a certain toughness is instilled at birth and doctors are always seen as the enemy because anyone wanting to see one was classed as a total wimp, he would have sat himself down and regretted the fact that he’d ignored his pending problem for so many years prior.

A stent, inserted into his heart just 1 week later, and designed to solve his blocked artery problem, seemed to have assisted in sorting this issue out, that was until last Monday, March 13, when his pool man Charlie and his best mate Moshe, found him dead on the floor inside his house in Israel, not wearing the wrist band we purchased that allowed him to call for emergency help when he needed it and stone cold, having been dead for some 12 hours at least. The rest in now history, but sure the lessons are there to be learned.

If you have a family history of any diseases whatsoever, take heed, look into them and educate yourselves on their possible cures, or calamities, and sort them out while you can. Don’t wait, don’t be afraid of seeing a doctor. Spend the money, if you have it and figure out how a remedy is better than the alternative, straight death, or a life of miserable suffering. We have the cures, we have the technologies and we live in a society that allows us access to incredible convenience and rapid results. Please don’t let what happened to my dad happen to your dad or your mum. Look out for your own health too. there’s nothing more precious than time, so give yourself a chance to get as much as is humanly possible. Today I remember my dad, but tomorrow I will be very angry that I never saw him again after booking a trip to visit him next week. I should have had the chance to spend more time with him, but alas, that will never happen.

Shalom and le’hitra’ot Dad.

North Korea

This is my take on what’s going on with North Korea and it’s incredible charismatic leader Kim-Jon-un. He must have an incredibly small penis, oh wait, maybe I shouldn’t have said that because I am headed to the airport right now and perhaps he’s already on to me with two undercover Malaysian women ready to dab me with some unbelievably poisonous venom??

He’s a complete moron, and one can only wonder what he would be like if he took to Twitter, just like our very own complete moron, although ours seems to have a larger penis than Kim’s because so far he’s not splashed any ballistic missiles into the Pacific. With so much else going wrong on this planet, why oh why are we worried about a travel ban when this stupid idiot in North Korea is trying to blow every Japanese citizen into kingdom come. Trump, get off your fucking Iphone and get on your diplomatic high horse and stop this stupid bastard from starting world war 3. It’s on the cards, you can tell. The similarities are there from the past, but as the saying goes, ‘we learn nothing from history!’

NK is filled with the great unknown. Why? because Kim is a dictator with lots of toys and those toys are lethal. The country is starving, the borders are closed, his allies hate him and yet they still back him, and worst of all, he’s a wee boy playing big boy games without a care in the world for their consequences. Something unfortunate is about to happen and I am certain it’s not going to be pretty. So, if you’re a penis replacement surgeon in Florida or in any other part of the world and you can offer this man 8 inches instead of the 2 he already has, please call him and let’s set up his transplant with immediate effect. This my friends is our only out. I just hope he realizes that this gift of a new dick will be a bonus, because someone might want to blow him instead of him blowing us!.

Liz And Melissa’s Big Day

img_0750It was an honor once again to present two new sport wheelchairs to two very deserving young athletes today. As recipients of of these chairs, which took three months to manufacture and prepare, Liz and Melissa now have endless possibilities to take part in sports that a normal wheelchair would never allow. Custom made to their own specifications, both ladies showed up with their families to accept the wheelchairs and then participate in activities that were being laid on by FWWAA, Far West Wheelchair Athletic Association, at the Camden Rec center in San Jose CA. After receiving their chairs, the 17th and 18th that we have donated in the past 7 years, their joy was there to be seen and we would like to take this opportunity to wish them well as they begin a new journey in life with participation in sport at the forefront of their ambitions. Melissa chose light blue for the color of her frame, that being her favorite shade, and Liz went with the yellow and green of her favorite baseball team, the Oakland A’s. I cannot begin to tell you how proud I am of both ladies and efforts of everyone involved to make this happen and to continue to support disabled athletes in the Bay Area.

FWWAA are a great organization, and one that I have supported for many years. It’s easy to give, but to give the gift of sport is special. You too can offer this gift to a young disabled athlete just by donating at FWWAA.org or by going to smile.amazon.com, instead of the regular Amazon.com web site, and choosing FWWAA as your favorite charity. Then, every time you purchase anything from that site, a small but meaningful donation goes back to FWWAA to help support athletes just like Liz and Melissa. If you’d like to know more, feel free to leave me a comment on this blog or email me directly at alanzoltie@gmail.com and I’d be happy to send you information that could get you involved.

Once again, congratulation to Liz and Melissa.

“So Called”

downloadWe now have ‘so called’ judges here in the USA, not real judges, which leads me to believe that all the criminals incarcerated in out prison system are not real criminals, but ‘so called’ criminals, and that all our police are not real police, but….. Anyway, you get my point. At what stage does THE Donald sit down and come to the realization that he might not be the ‘so called’ President, but he’s definitely a complete and total prick? At what point does all the BS stop and at what point do we all come together and say, “fuck it, it’s time to wake up and unite?” I don’t turn on the evening news anymore. I don’t turn on the morning news anymore. I don’t turn on the TV anymore, unless it’s to watch the Real Housewives, beating each other up with never ending drama, or spending millions on extravagant and basically useless materialistic items. Oh wait, that’s THE Donald, and that’s exactly why all of our lives are now played out as reality TV, scripted or not, but amazingly chaotic. Pantomimes are shows that play live on theatre stages across the UK around Christmas time each year. A tradition, and one that I personally couldn’t stand. Google it, YouTube it, you’ll find one that takes your fancy or just pisses you off. That’s what politics has become, and not just here in America, but all over the world. Look at Holland, look at France, look at The Gambia. All these places, and many more, are being run like the circus. Corruption, fake news, incest, rape and pillage, failing economies, internal destruction, terrorism, it’s rife, and if you’ve had the chance to read the number one best selling book of all time, it’s exactly like that good book preached. Trust no one, believe in nothing, keep yourself to yourself and travel nowhere. That my friends is the only way to perhaps stay safe and lead a normal life, in this, the age of disasters, mindless killings, global warming, and waste. WE THE PEOPLE, as the declaration reads, are fucked. We have no place to go, no place to hide and we are certainly being made to believe that we have no place in this unjust country that we call home. I have told you all before, politicians are nothing but liars and cheats. THE Donald is neither. He is just a big fucking bully who’s probably never had any friends in his entire life and probably never will. I was all for change, and certainly not for Hillary, but now I am all for nothing. Let’s have a do over, let’s have some common sense, but most of all, let’s have some respect for those who are qualified by degree to perform the jobs they were put in place to do.

My Dick Is Bigger Than Your Dick

And imagesso it begins. Not even two days into his reign and the dicks are out. Mine is bigger than yours, Fuck you NO Fuck You. It’s just so stupid. I read an article this morning about a lady getting thrown off a flight to Seattle last night because she was disgusted that the passenger sitting next to her was a Trump supporter. She went overboard, as only uneducated or radicalized people do, telling that man he should have known better and that his vote has caused the world to come to an abyss. What are these people on? Why do we need millions of protesters on the streets when nothing has actually happened. Yes, there have been insults, insinuations and a continuous desire to blame the opposition, whoever that opposition is, but come on people, NOTHING HAS HAPPENED! The sun still rises, we all still pay taxes, and eventually we are all going to die, so tell me that I am wrong and that something has actually changed? The thing is, I am ALWAYS right, and so far, for the last 48 hours, I still pay the same taxes, the sun is still rising and I know that one day I will face my demise. Give me a break and give yourself a break, stop this nonsense. If in a week, a month, a year or even a day, something happens and Trump does the unthinkable, then, and only then, grab your protest signs, your pink hats, your rainbow flags and get out there and let’s kick the man arse in hope he will see some common sense. Until then, give him and the people he’s chosen to lead us for the next 4 years, the chance to prove to us that they know what they are doing and that all the election rhetoric that has most of you up in arms, was just bluster. You don’t know what’s going to happen in the coming months, and neither do I. If we did, we would be the first down to the bookmakers placing $100 on Trump pushing the button or building that wall or stopping abortion. The facts are we don’t know, although by the size of the protests, we all believe we do. It’s absurd to predict, it’s childish to be sore losers, and most of all, to compare what’s happening today to Nazi Germany in the 1930’s. Well my jaw dropped when I read that one. The media in the USA, no matter how you feel about them personally, are bias beyond belief, both ways. There’s no doubt in my mind that fair and unbiased reporting does not exist here. Unfortunately, you as Americans, are one of the most gullible races on this planet and you are completely insulated by what’s going on around you in your own cities without looking further a field for a true perspective. I for one came from a country where news is for the most part uncensored and balanced, whereas in the USA, it’s quite the opposite, filled with scaremongering hype that’s designed to sell papers and advertising on TV. So go back to work, go play with your kids, go believe in what you want to believe in but for goodness sake, let’s all sit back, relax and hold our tongues until something actually happens, and if it doesn’t, well think of all the time and effort plus the aggravation that you will have saved yourselves.