Completely Bonkers

With my trip already booked and my bags almost packed, that idiot in North Korea has now put the world on the brink. Question is, what is going to happen, and do I go to an area of the planet that might explode into Armageddon, without warning, leaving me stranded, or even worse, stuck in a nuclear vacuum? The trials and tribulations of international travel these days. It’s so disconcerting and sometimes downright scary. One never knows where and when the next conflict will begin and with so many near escapes over the past 40 years, you have to wonder when your luck is going to run out. I have a friend in high places in one of the top governments of the western world. He tells me that action against NK will come, and come soon. We can only hope that it comes swiftly and with minimum loss of life, although any loss of life, in my opinion, is just unacceptable. But now it’s decision time. Do I stay or do I go? The gut says go, the subconscious, stay. All of this reminds me of 1990 when Saddam invaded Kuwait. There I was in the UK, traveling to the USA on business every two weeks, and within days of his invasion, all the flights were suddenly half full. Within two weeks, they were empty. Everyone stopped traveling due to impending threats or terror, which never ever materialized. One flight I made from NY to London on a 747, was just me and 20 crew. Everyone else was upgraded onto Concorde. That flight was one of the best ever, then just 5 days later on an internal flight from London to Scotland, only 3 were on board a plane that held 150. Comfortable to say the least. There’s a huge differential though between Saddam and Kim Jong-un. Saddam was thought to possess chemical weapons, which we now know was untrue, Kim on the other hand seems to have enough ammo to destroy the Korean peninsula and Japan, killing tens of millions. His flagrant disregard for the lives of those in his own country let alone those in surrounding countries, has been astounding. Firing missiles into the air that come close to taking down civilian aircraft and landing on foreign territory, with strong possibility of human and property damage. Who the heck wants to live with this situation? Why isn’t the US and it’s allies taking control and blasting this maniac off the face of our planet. Sanctions? Total nonsense. His population has been starving for years so what difference would sanctions make? None. We need to find a way to make this problem vanish, and vanish before I get on my next flight to HK this week. I would prefer doing business without the threat of death hanging over my head for a week and the obvious action would just be to cancel. But why let him win? I’d love to meet this guy in person. After a swift kick in the balls, let’s see if he’d still be as tough as he makes out to be. North Korea is a place I’ve never been, nor do I intend to go, however, the way things are panning out, North Korea might soon be a place no one can go, for a very long time!

 

I Did It My Way

Regrets? I’ve had a few, as the Frank Sinatra song says. The question is, have you? Has there been any time in your life where you’ve said, “God, if only I hadn’t done that?”

Some people I know say that to me every day, and some others, rarely, if ever at all. I myself never regret anything I have done for the simple reason, I chose to do it, so why regret it? Makes no sense to say in hindsight, “I wish I hadn’t done that” because it’s already done and you cannot take it back, no matter how hard try, and how much you want to. Fast forward to all those athletes/politicians/celebrities who continually screw up and then decide to come on TV five minutes later announcing to the whole planet that it was ‘a mistake’ and that they are ‘truly sorry’ and it will ‘certainly never happen again’. All of whom are either seeking re election, wanting a larger salary and a new contract or are shooting a movie, have had an affair with a co-star and now want reconciliation with their wife or husband. Standard procedure seems to be, “I checked myself into a clinic for sex addiction” OR, “My words have been misconstrued” OR “Honestly, I never beat her up, she fell and now we are fine” Then when interviewed some time later, and asked, “do you regret doing that?”, mostly ALL without question shy away from the answer and deflect to another subject just praying that the interviewee moves on and never comes back to their disgusting past.

When I emailed a few of my friends recently, I decided to ask about regrets they’d had in their lives and would they be prepared to stand up and discuss them in front of you, my readership. Some of the responses I received are below. Makes for interesting reading. As promised, no names are mentioned.

 

Friend A, ‘when you’re in your early 20’s you can do yourself a favor by doing exactly the opposite of what your brain tells you to do!”

Friend B ‘my biggest regret in life is every time I check into Facebook and speak to people I haven’t seen for 40 years, knowing I still hate them while pretending to feign interest in their now meaningless lives” OUCH!

Friend C ‘I am sorry to say that I regret every time I have been depressed because life is depressing enough without me adding to it”

Friend D “I regret a relationship I ended when I was 22 and very angry, because when you speak when you’re angry it’ll be the worst speech you ever make”

I’m sure THE DONALD has never had any regrets because he’s the best and most wonderful human that ever lived. He’s tremendous, fantastic and no one ever has done anything better. Do you think he regrets his inadequate vocabulary and his inability to be a good communicator. I was in a taxi from Westchester airport on the east coast, to Manhattan. The driver and I got talking. Turned out his best friend’s nephew was one of Trumps main attorneys in NY. Well, talk about regrets. For more than an hour, the length of the time it took to get into New York, he told me story after story on how Trump just bullies his employees, now proven by everything that’s happened in DC over the past few weeks. His staff at Trump Tower regret every Tweet that Trump has put out since he became Commander-in-Chief and have told him in no uncertain terms to shut the fuck up and get on with running the country. Do you think Trump will regret the way he’s behaved when he’s old and grey and ready to reflect on his legacy? Oh wait, he’s already old, not grey, but old.

Regrets are so easy to hide behind. It’s plain and simple choices that matter, choices you make every day. So just think about what you do before you do it and never regret it, because as I said before, you chose that direction, no one else, just you. I am off to catch a plane now before I regret writing any more crap!

 

There’s A New Sheriff In Town

A friend of mine received a phone call to work last week. They left a message

“This is King County Sheriff’s Dept, please call us back immediately.”

She did.

“Ma’am you never appeared for jury duty, despite being summoned twice by mail. You are in serious trouble with the judge and have a duty to attend a court hearing today”

Despite protestations that no mail and summons’s had ever been received, the Sheriff was insistent that it could all be resolved at the King County courthouse as long as my friend got in the car immediately, made her way to the courthouse, attended a hearing and paid a small fine, and he suggested the judge would expunge all charges with just a slap on the wrist. Again, protesting that she had work and lived in a remote part of King county, the Sheriff stated clearly that her failure to follow his instructions would lead to arrest and subsequent imprisonment. She had no choice.

Dumping all her current projects, leaving her home and making haste for the city, she asked for a phone number to call on the way there, this, after another conversation where she’d been asked to note her odometer reading in her car and asked to stay in regular contact with the Sheriff in order that the hearing with the judge could be arranged as she neared the courthouse to avoid any unnecessary delays.

Suspicious? Nope, she was convinced this was genuine, the phone number checking out and the facts read back to her regarding her personal life, confirmed several times.

I’m sure you’ve all gathered where this is going now, but read on anyway.

She was then asked to go into one of two supermarkets to buy money vouchers with cash. She did this and read off the serial numbers to the Sheriff, his explanation to her was that this was the system the court used for fines and again, although probably not believable when reading my article, it was more than believable to the lady about to be scammed. Doing as she was asked, she bought the vouchers, called the Sheriff’s dept, read out the numbers and drove on. Of course, when she arrived at the courthouse, she discovered she’d been scammed and she’d lost $2000. The people at the courthouse told her there’d been many like her and that the people responsible had been using this scam for many months.

Feeling completely violated, with no recourse, she asked me to write her story in my blog to warn others not to fall for what seemed like a genuine situation and one that was completely believable at the time it was happening. She panicked, being a good upstanding citizen and fearing jail time, she has never been in any trouble with the law in her entire life. She did what seemed right and what she was asked to do and although she’s by no means a gullible individual, she was completely taken in by this scam and has had several sleepless nights since, wondering if there was indeed anything more she could have done to ‘out’ these criminals. Having now given statements to the police and having now been told she’s not alone as far as this particular scam goes, life is returning to normal, but will not be the same for quite sometime due to her inability to accept her fate.

Look out, do not take calls from strange numbers and if asked to appear before anyone official, or asked to pay money to anyone, no matter how genuine they might seem, ask for it to be put in writing first, on official letterhead with clear instructions and a number to call that checks out on line.

Right, I am off to enjoy my holiday weekend. Stay safe and stay out of trouble.

 

Earth Day

Hey, it’s earth day today! Whooopee! But what exactly does that mean? Isn’t every day earth day? if not, then where the fuck are we all living? I’ve been looking at some of the events going on around the planet today. Makes for some interesting reading.

Kim Jong-un has told the world that he can completely destroy it with just three nuclear devices, all of which he’s willing to launch should The Donald not fly to Pyongyang and suck his dick. I would PAY to watch that one, the launch that is!

Over 100 Afghani troops killed by a Taliban attack on an army base near the northern city of Mazar-el-Sharif. What’s the issue there? they didn’t like the fact that the soldier had uniforms and they didn’t? or was it just a ruse to take away their shaving equipment so the “you MUST have a beard’ campaign they’ve been running quite successfully for the last 15 years, gets a well needed boost.

In Lebanon they’ve been on the streets asking that the law be abolished that exonerates any rapist who marries their victim or any other rape victim gets a pardon. In a country where many wives are often accepted, and lots of women are raped daily, they’d have no room left in their prison system for those caught in the act, and what about those poor sheep? Don’t they have a say? Sorry Lebanon, I couldn’t resist that one!

IIle Nastase, once the darling of the center court, and now the Rumanian woman’s tennis captain for today’s Fed Cup match v Great Britain, was banned for calling one of the British players a Fucking Bitch. He also slandered Serena Williams after she announced she was 20 weeks pregnant. Maybe IIle has been playing too much tennis in the Lebanon?

American airlines had a situation with a lady who wanted to bring a buggy for her twin baby’s onto their plane. The flight attendant offered to fight, fisticuffs, an intervening passenger! Maybe he should quite pushing trollies up and down the aisle of his Boeing 737 and concentrate on the MMA career he always wanted.

And what about the March for Science, held in many cities across the world today? Oh, I forgot, science is a waste of time, THE Donald told us, there’s no such thing as global warming or over dependency on fossil fuels, so it must be true and we don’t need scientists any longer.

So really, what’s today all about? The planet is doomed, I think? The people who live on it, probably the majority, don’t give a fuck what’s going on and if they do, well where are they? Why are we falling apart at the seams and why are there so few prepared to stitch her up? I’ll tell you why. The reason is that we all love our technology, our cars, our flights too and from vacation, our business trips, our nuclear bombs, our regular bombs, our guns, our processed food, our destruction of arable land, out incessant beratement of any person who is a do gooder, because most of them are doing no good at all, our continual destruction of plant and animal life, over farming, our total ignorance with regards climate control and global warming and our constant love of war, bringing nothing but death and destruction to a planet that can barely take any more.

Feeling good about earth day now? What’s the point? Why do we even have this day? To bring awareness to any of the above? To stop everything that’s wrong on this earth? No, it’s just another money-maker for those who manufacture the products we sell promoting one day in the year where products should never be sold!

A total waste of time and energy. The only earth day that should be celebrated, again in my opinion, is one where not a single shot is fired in anger, not a bad word spoken, not a tree cut down, not a single animal slaughtered, not an ounce of CO2 is spewed out into our already fragile atmosphere, and where all 300 billion pieces of plastic, a true statistic BTW, are collected from our polluted oceans so the world can maybe breath again. It’ll never happen, but hey, its earth day, so let’s give it a try!

 

A Great Man, An Even Better Friend

My father, Jack, passed away suddenly and quite unexpectedly a few days ago. He was 82, and rarely ill, but an issue the doctors found in his heart, one that they tried to fix 4 weeks ago, was his downfall. There are several factors that make no sense to me from all of the sadness and soul-searching that has followed his demise and so I thought I would write one small chapter in my blog dedicated to his life in the hope that anyone reading who has or has had a parent, child, friend in a similar position, will take not and then take action on the off-chance they might be more successful than I was in saving a loved one from a premature death.

Jack was born in 1934, prematurely I might add, in Edinburgh Scotland. Legend has it that his 3lb frame as placed in the local Jewish bakers oven for days on end to try to save him, incubators not having been invented at that time. That worked and so Jack made it to the ripe, though not terribly old by today’s standards, age of 82. His mother Alice though was less fortunate, dying 3 years later after giving birth to Jack’s sister Sylvia, dying of acute heart failure. She was 29. The warning signs were there, though unfortunately in 1938, no one had the foresight to place two and two together and tell both kids that they should keep an eye out for heart issues in their early lives.

Jack was the first person in the UK to bring plastic shopping bags from Hong Kong introducing them to the grocery stores and restaurant trade . He was a pioneer of sorts, although all you ‘greenies’ out there might disagree at this point. He also became the first person in Scotland to import 8 track in-car entertainment units from Japan. If you’re under 40 you won’t even know what they are, so Google it. Jack had very few health problems in his early life and although extremely fond of his whisky, and a regular smoker until he was well into his 40’s, recurring kidney stones were his biggest problem. Several times he was admitted to hospitals to have them removed, one occasion being in London when I attended visiting time accompanied by my usual sense of humor and after ten minutes of gut wrenching laughter and a few split stitches on his now scarred belly, the nursing team had to physically eject me to save him from certain death. There was blood everywhere and Jack, who was laughing so hard, was only saved from the after world by a quick thinking doctor who proceeded to sew him up again and the sedate him!

Over ten years ago, when I was in my later 30’s, I began to see my doctor annually for a physical. This included full blood work, heart and body check and a finger up my bum, where every time I could I continued to spout that wonderful line, “Hey Doctor, I just lost my virginity!” So I knew each year I was good to go and fit as a fiddle. Education had encouraged me to do this, and I rarely, if ever miss a year, so have been able to stay on top of any ailments that had any chance of making my future life on earth miserable. Jacks father dies of, guess what, heart failure, and his great Grandfather Morris, the same ailment, so you’d have thought that when Jack found out 4 weeks ago that his main artery was 100% blocked, rather than feigning surprise and lack of concern, typical for someone brought up in Scotland in the 1930’s where a certain toughness is instilled at birth and doctors are always seen as the enemy because anyone wanting to see one was classed as a total wimp, he would have sat himself down and regretted the fact that he’d ignored his pending problem for so many years prior.

A stent, inserted into his heart just 1 week later, and designed to solve his blocked artery problem, seemed to have assisted in sorting this issue out, that was until last Monday, March 13, when his pool man Charlie and his best mate Moshe, found him dead on the floor inside his house in Israel, not wearing the wrist band we purchased that allowed him to call for emergency help when he needed it and stone cold, having been dead for some 12 hours at least. The rest in now history, but sure the lessons are there to be learned.

If you have a family history of any diseases whatsoever, take heed, look into them and educate yourselves on their possible cures, or calamities, and sort them out while you can. Don’t wait, don’t be afraid of seeing a doctor. Spend the money, if you have it and figure out how a remedy is better than the alternative, straight death, or a life of miserable suffering. We have the cures, we have the technologies and we live in a society that allows us access to incredible convenience and rapid results. Please don’t let what happened to my dad happen to your dad or your mum. Look out for your own health too. there’s nothing more precious than time, so give yourself a chance to get as much as is humanly possible. Today I remember my dad, but tomorrow I will be very angry that I never saw him again after booking a trip to visit him next week. I should have had the chance to spend more time with him, but alas, that will never happen.

Shalom and le’hitra’ot Dad.

North Korea

This is my take on what’s going on with North Korea and it’s incredible charismatic leader Kim-Jon-un. He must have an incredibly small penis, oh wait, maybe I shouldn’t have said that because I am headed to the airport right now and perhaps he’s already on to me with two undercover Malaysian women ready to dab me with some unbelievably poisonous venom??

He’s a complete moron, and one can only wonder what he would be like if he took to Twitter, just like our very own complete moron, although ours seems to have a larger penis than Kim’s because so far he’s not splashed any ballistic missiles into the Pacific. With so much else going wrong on this planet, why oh why are we worried about a travel ban when this stupid idiot in North Korea is trying to blow every Japanese citizen into kingdom come. Trump, get off your fucking Iphone and get on your diplomatic high horse and stop this stupid bastard from starting world war 3. It’s on the cards, you can tell. The similarities are there from the past, but as the saying goes, ‘we learn nothing from history!’

NK is filled with the great unknown. Why? because Kim is a dictator with lots of toys and those toys are lethal. The country is starving, the borders are closed, his allies hate him and yet they still back him, and worst of all, he’s a wee boy playing big boy games without a care in the world for their consequences. Something unfortunate is about to happen and I am certain it’s not going to be pretty. So, if you’re a penis replacement surgeon in Florida or in any other part of the world and you can offer this man 8 inches instead of the 2 he already has, please call him and let’s set up his transplant with immediate effect. This my friends is our only out. I just hope he realizes that this gift of a new dick will be a bonus, because someone might want to blow him instead of him blowing us!.

Liz And Melissa’s Big Day

img_0750It was an honor once again to present two new sport wheelchairs to two very deserving young athletes today. As recipients of of these chairs, which took three months to manufacture and prepare, Liz and Melissa now have endless possibilities to take part in sports that a normal wheelchair would never allow. Custom made to their own specifications, both ladies showed up with their families to accept the wheelchairs and then participate in activities that were being laid on by FWWAA, Far West Wheelchair Athletic Association, at the Camden Rec center in San Jose CA. After receiving their chairs, the 17th and 18th that we have donated in the past 7 years, their joy was there to be seen and we would like to take this opportunity to wish them well as they begin a new journey in life with participation in sport at the forefront of their ambitions. Melissa chose light blue for the color of her frame, that being her favorite shade, and Liz went with the yellow and green of her favorite baseball team, the Oakland A’s. I cannot begin to tell you how proud I am of both ladies and efforts of everyone involved to make this happen and to continue to support disabled athletes in the Bay Area.

FWWAA are a great organization, and one that I have supported for many years. It’s easy to give, but to give the gift of sport is special. You too can offer this gift to a young disabled athlete just by donating at FWWAA.org or by going to smile.amazon.com, instead of the regular Amazon.com web site, and choosing FWWAA as your favorite charity. Then, every time you purchase anything from that site, a small but meaningful donation goes back to FWWAA to help support athletes just like Liz and Melissa. If you’d like to know more, feel free to leave me a comment on this blog or email me directly at alanzoltie@gmail.com and I’d be happy to send you information that could get you involved.

Once again, congratulation to Liz and Melissa.